There is nothing wrong with being angry, or to know others. In fact, expressing anger is a healthy behavior that constitutes one of the necessary steps for conflict resolution. Here’s what you need to know about it.
Most people tend to repress their anger and suffer in silence. Now this is probably the worst thing to do. “Anger is a normal and natural emotion that can range from frustration to extreme rage, but if it is not managed, it can lead to violence and abusive behavior. The worst thing about anger is when we do not express it. The more one represses, the more it can be harmful to health. »
Discover primary emotion
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According Antoinette, anger is a secondary emotion that allows us to express our primary emotions, that is to say, why we feel anger. Some primary emotions that can trigger anger:
- Sadness
- Disappointment
- Fear
- Frustration
- Concern
- Anxiety
- Discomfort
A good way to determine the source of his anger and recognize the elements that trigger emotions is to formulate the following model:
I feel __________ __________ because when you _____________.
For example:
I feel frustrated (e) when you interrupt me because it makes me feel like my opinions do not count in your eyes .
Thus, even if one can express anger when someone interrupts us constantly, we can see from the above model, the primary emotion is frustration – which translates as anger.
Formulating emotions can detect the real reason or the main cause of his anger in different situations. We can express what you feel instead of winning.
Manage your Anger
When we know the elements that trigger anger, it becomes possible to manage it effectively. Antoinette recommends the following strategies:
- Pay attention to body signals. Anger can increase blood pressure and heart rate and cause sweating, gnashing of teeth, a feeling of tightness in the chest, shaking and feeling of losing control. Earlier these signals are detected, the sooner we can try to calm. Try this meditation exercise to regain your composure.
- Count to 10 (or up to 100, depending on what suits you) or focus your attention on a routine task, such as washing dishes or store the closet. Use these distractions to calm down and tell your body and mind it’s time to break free from the yoke of anger.
- Take a break.Sometimes the best thing to do is to get away from the situation until we find calm. It is important to come back later to fix the problem properly.
- Breathe deeply and relax. You will be able to combat stress reactions that occur in you.
- Control his thoughts.When we are angry, we can have very irrational thoughts, and it is important to master before acting. We must say that we can manage the problem and try to stay calm and relaxed. We can then look for the positive in what we just experienced.
- To use his imagination to prepare.Take the time to visualize how you will deal with the problem and apply yourself mentally. This strategy is especially useful for recurring problems.
- Practicing assertiveness.Do not suffer in silence. Act responsibly and clearly express your needs, while respecting those of others. And be prepared to find a mutually acceptable solution.
- Get help from a professional if you feel it is totally impossible for you to control your anger.
