It could be a test strip. It could be the doctor’s results. Whatever the scenario it is quite likely that you are in shock if you were not planning for a baby. Most women carry with them the unconscious thought that the automatic reaction to having to the news of a baby growing in their womb is intense joy, despite the circumstance. This notion is problematic because it leaves women with feelings of guilt about the feelings they harbor toward their baby. Here is a healthier way of dealing with the shock.
What you are feeling is normal
Unexpected news, whatever category they fall under will leave us astonished. Finding out that you are pregnant is no exception. It is okay to feel the feelings you are having; it is part of the human experience. Do not pressure yourself to shake off any initial feelings you might have. A Canadian Tax Amnesty professional might feel angry at herself for getting pregnant at the height of her career.
Whatever the emotions, sit in it for a few hours or even days, depending on how long you typically take to come to terms with difficult news. However, remember to let it go. The purpose of feeling and accepting your emotions is not to make a shrine and reference it. These should be passing thoughts and feelings that usher you into a new phase of your life. Have a support system around you; they make bearing the emotions easier.
Visualizing your new future
After the initial shock fades, focus on what the future would be like. For some, their partner after the initial shock will accept the news and work toward a future together. For some, the stars are not aligned and the path ahead feels almost hopeless. While these are realities one has to face, what one can do is remember to become their best with tools given. It might be a stressful time either way, but purposing to find a positive outlook forces you to find alternatives to mitigate your current situation. It is okay to give yourself moments to feel the weight of the future, but remember to let it go and keep pushing. Cliché advice, perhaps, but what
Don’t measure yourself against other mothers
Here is the truth; every mother at some point or another felt like a failure. Do not let the feelings of inadequacy cloud your judgment about what you are capable of. Are there times when you will drop the ball? Yes. However, that is part of life- think about it. What part of your life can you call perfect? The answer is very likely none. Instead of fearing that you will be a lousy mother, equip yourself with tools that will give you a chance to look up years from now and pat yourself on the back.
